You know where I am, Suzhou, Jiangsu, China. The loss of 258 coal miners here is tragic in China, but the potential loss of 6 miners in Utah, with 3 Drills bearing down through to try and save them is commendable. I hope they are still alive.

I watch CNN from home.

I am not a drilling Engineer.

www.20six.co.uk/jamiesons-luck-new2

Jamieson.

By viewing this blog, you are entitled to a lifetime of good luck, Nothing will trouble you !

Wow, F**k me. Sitting in the bomb-proof study and sharing Jamiesons Luck which spreads all over the world. Thanks to a bomb-proof multiple channel data network. Thank you, USA.  Internet for public users was a great idea ! POWER !.

You got Saddam and Chemical Ali. When we say, hang up, we mean Hanged ! He he. Bet they wished they had died in bed (natural means) without an inquest. Eager.

Getting back to the luck, and avoiding my favourite subjects, the luck has been hit on, in the nicest way,as shows.

However, Satellite Provider sites....You guys are MOST welcome to the Luck. I would not like to be out, offshore on a exploratory rig, production rig or a barge. Stay safe !

(Bye Bye Rove ! Nice to know you... but wait.. Whoa ! There is a hearing scheduled for ....Not so fast bucko!)

Jamieson.

Damn Morroccans, always snooping around !

China  2028 (40.22%) 
United States  1469 (29.14%) 
United Kingdom  431 (8.55%) 
Australia  429 (8.51%) 
Canada  126 (2.50%) 
Austria  105 (2.08%) 
Saudi Arabia  39 (0.77%) 
Japan  35 (0.69%) 
Hong Kong  25 (0.50%) 
Ireland  24 (0.48%) 
Germany  23 (0.46%) 
Netherlands  23 (0.46%) 
Italy  18 (0.36%) 
Singapore  17 (0.34%) 
New Zealand  16 (0.32%) 
South Africa  16 (0.32%) 
India  15 (0.30%) 
Sweden  15 (0.30%) 
France  13 (0.26%) 
Thailand  12 (0.24%)  Kenya  1 (0.02%) 
Korea, Republic of  1 (0.02%) 
Lithuania  1 (0.02%) 
Luxembourg  1 (0.02%) 
Macau  1 (0.02%) 
Malta  1 (0.02%) 
Morocco  1 (0.02%) 
Poland  1 (0.02%) 
Serbia And Montenegro  1 (0.02%) 
Slovenia  1 (0.02%) 
Tunisia Russian Federation  3 (0.06%) 
Switzerland  3 (0.06%) 
Venezuela  3 (0.06%) 
Bolivia  2 (0.04%) 
Kuwait  2 (0.04%) 
Northern Mariana Islands  2 (0.04%) 
Peru  2 (0.04%) 
Qatar  2 (0.04%) 
Brazil  1 (0.02%) 
Brunei Darussalam  1 (0.02%) 
Cyprus  1 (0.02%) 
Czech Republic  1 (0.02%) 
Egypt  1 (0.02%) 
Estonia  1 (0.02%) 
Gabon  1 (0.02%) 
Ghana  1 (0.02%) 
Guam  1 (0.02%) 
Honduras  1 (0.02%) 
Hungary  1 (0.02%) 
Jamaica  1 (0.02%) 
Malaysia  11 (0.22%) 
Philippines  10 (0.20%) 
Algeria  9 (0.18%) 
Israel  9 (0.18%) 
Satellite Provider  9 (0.18%) 
Portugal  7 (0.14%) 
Romania  7 (0.14%) 
Taiwan, Province of China  7 (0.14%) 
Pakistan  6 (0.12%) 
Spain  6 (0.12%) 
Turkey  6 (0.12%) 
United Arab Emirates  6 (0.12%) 
Mexico  5 (0.10%) 
Finland  4 (0.08%) 
Vietnam  4 (0.08%) 
Belgium  3 (0.06%) 
Denmark  3 (0.06%) 
Indonesia  3 (0.06%) 
Iran, Islamic Republic of  3 (0.06%) 
Norway  3 (0.06%)
Malaysia  11 (0.22%) 
Philippines  10 (0.20%) 
Algeria  9 (0.18%) 
Israel  9 (0.18%) 
Satellite Provider  9 (0.18%) 
Portugal  7 (0.14%) 
Romania  7 (0.14%) 
Taiwan, Province of China  7 (0.14%) 
Pakistan  6 (0.12%) 
Spain  6 (0.12%) 
Turkey  6 (0.12%) 
United Arab Emirates  6 (0.12%) 
Mexico  5 (0.10%) 
Finland  4 (0.08%) 
Vietnam  4 (0.08%) 
Belgium  3 (0.06%) 
Denmark  3 (0.06%) 
Indonesia  3 (0.06%) 
Iran, Islamic Republic of  3 (0.06%) 
Kenya  1 (0.02%) 
Korea, Republic of  1 (0.02%) 
Lithuania  1 (0.02%) 
Luxembourg  1 (0.02%) 
Macau  1 (0.02%) 
Malta  1 (0.02%) 
Morocco  1 (0.02%) 
Poland  1 (0.02%) 
Serbia And Montenegro  1 (0.02%) 
Slovenia  1 (0.02%) 
Tunisia  1 (0.02%)  

In sharp contrast to the exploding balloons offered by the spider for a job well done, Mrs. Jamieson has had the pleasure of a trip to an American Protecturate (XXXX Island) in 2005, with passport, visa, airfares, 5 star hotel, all meals, lounging poolside (put that on my room account please James) and novelty trips on a glass-bottomed boat - for free.

Picture it ! Pure white sands, Un-bleached coral, palm trees swaying gently ... except when there is a typhoon... attentive pool-side service, room service, glass-like water in the lagoon.

2006.

We are all flying off to Urumqi (XinJiang Province) from Shanghai for a 3 day jaunt, including a side-trip to Kashi (Kashgar) just for laughs. Mrs. J got to go horse-riding (well, actually the horse reins were held very firmly by a Tajik at a slow walking speed). Nonetheless she enjoyed being in the saddle. Done.

2007.
Bit of a quandary here. There is talk of Bali (Indonesia), Sabah (East Malaysia) or Busan (South Korea). Decision is yet to be made by the higher-ups. Well, if your tiny branch in Suzhou is making millions in profit, then... "Money is no object".

***Update**** 14 August

Well we got a bridge that collapsed in Hunan, killed 14, 22 injured .

That's OK, we get spectacular bridge disasters in Australia, too.

Questions about Company junkets has been partially solved. Now a coin toss between Vung Tau, Vietnam or Angkor Wat, Cambodia.

Fuck it, make up your mind !

Oh, by the way, Li Shifu has started his daily grinding you know,the BRRRRRRRRR and hammer bashing that does not resonate through every apartment. Can't blame him, it is a work day and most people head off to the office. Except me, day off.

So I lock the door and play VERY loud whitey music. VERY loud.


-------------------------------------------------------------------

Sigh. Guess I fucked up, teaching English and sucking on celebratory cherry tomatoes. Oh, ah, wait - I did not go. The other teachers told me there was no champaigne, only warm Suntory beer cans, a fragment of cake with a tiny plastic, useless 2 prong cake fork on a limp paper plate after the vultures had swooped - and a rousing cheer when the 3rd anniversary was announced. Hip Hip Hip attitude adjustment, hooray.

I KNEW IT. LIES.

Wait, wait, wait : CUT !

Do the dialogue again, according to the script ! Do not say "I fucked up" ! There were no "Vultures" at the party. There are no Vultures in China, only in T**et. Please be harmonious Mister Jamieson ! And, could you please say "Tsingtao" instead of "Suntory" ? Also, a 2 prong fork is not as useful as chopsticks.

I'd caution you to remember this !

Please do not shout the word "LIES", it is embarrassing to the People and the Party and our harmonious get rich quick private enterprises with our cleverly concealed guanxi networks. Please don't.

(Grrrrr)

J.

Well.

As I was finishing the last salon class of the day, I noticed the IT Manager and an entourage of unknown scruffy personnel wheeling a 2 metre high speaker, cables, power cable reels and what-not into the English Corner room.

They then set up all the stuff, started playing some Chinese techno-bass stuff at full volume. Started the "wei, wei" voice checks with maximum echo. Of course you can forget covering the 'wind-down' of a lesson when the walls are shaking.

I just signed off all their student manuals at 4.55, gathered my papers, beeped off the air-con, dismissed the students, turned off the lights and headed off to the Foreign Teachers Staff Room.

Holstered the teaching material in the filing cabinet (in the correct locations). Bugger. They took my desk. Hope they restore it ! Why mine ?

I know about these gigs. Had to suffer the beaming, token Laowai a few times. Got the smarts now !

Bearing in mind my hand-on-heart revelation, I am sure they all had a good, noisy evening. Champaigne (chilled), finger food and cold beer was promised for the foreign teachers but I think most of us bailed before the start of the festivities. I certainly did.

It is most unlikely that these delicacies would be provided.  I suggested smoked salmon and capers, canapes.

Hor's D-Oeurves, like Ham Rolls with Cream Cheese Filling. Marinated Mushrooms and Artichoke in flaky pastry casings, Crab Cocktail, Maple - Cracked Pepper Chicken on Toasted Cornbread with Corn and Scallion Relish, Classic Filet Mignon with a Burgundy Mustard Sauce on French Baguette. I'd stay a while for that !

What you'd get is balloons, cheap decorations, cherry tomatoes, apple segments with seeds and seaweed flavour crackers.

We have 2 foreign teachers bailing within 2 weeks,leaving scant opportunity to recruit Leroy and Tracey from East Moose Testicle, North Dakota - leaving 5 permanent and 1 part-timer to handle the load !

All other foreign teachers here in Suzhou are working mostly full-time and have little time for the shenanigans at the Spider. Spider is talking fines to the tune of 8,000 RMB for failing to provide 30 days notice :-)

As I said, happy every day, there are no problems in Suzhou. I won't look for problems......Harmonious, every day !

J.

Further to my boring spiel about being more positive and kinder to China in general, today I received not 1, not 2 but 4 pleasant surprises. One was 2 free tickets to a party commemorating the 3rd anniversary of the Spider's existence, this Saturday. One for me, one for Mrs. Jamieson.

A Gala event by the amount of posters plastered all over the joint and the hand-written invitation promising all kinds of 'fun activities' including a Door Prize. What ? Looks like our advising about Western Culture might have paid off. Hell, they might even hire a DJ and/or a magician for entertainment!

Second nice surprise was that a *male* student (in the agonising 8 pm - 9 pm class) pipes up and asks me where I lived. Turns out I am about 1 km from his home. So he turns out his wallet and pockets and gives me 385 kuai. Kidding.

Nope. He offers me a lift back home, gratis. Natch, I am too humble to reject this offer. So we swing past in his Kia, 5,000 km on the clock. Classical music from the CD player, Air-con.

Third surprise: I bump into American Kevin at 9.25 pm outside the security gate.  Handshake, quick chat, a nice guy, young, tall, smile that melts women. He often meets Mrs. Jamieson out in the complex here, she met him a few days ago. I like him, genuine. I am very fussy about who I befriend. That is why I have *few* friends, because my radar in Suzhou is set on maximum, because there are some dodgy, sleazy foreigners here.

We had one guy on the FBI's ten most wanted list right here. Some like to exploit young Chinese ladies. Some are dodgy business people. I have one Chinese friend, and he is not even from China ! Welll, ah Taiwan (Let's say for the moment, China), my Landlord. Anyway, I simply do not have the time or the inclination to make friends here.

Problem is, if I go out to a dinner with Mrs. Jamieson's work crowd, I have to endure the litany of Laowai jokes (at my expense), the same old stuff. Then there is the insufferable Caren Carpenter on the KTV. And other sloppy ancient slop. I am expected to grab the mike and enthusiastically..... wait. You are complaining again ! You promised ! OK, Welcome to the good times !

Fourth nice surprise was Mrs. Jamieson knocks on the study door, comes in and asks me if I have any money. Asks me "how much do you want?"

Unprompted.

"Ahh, 200 kuai ? OK ?"

Places the redbacks in my wallet. Well, ahhh, I gave her the card where my salary is credited (great passive there !) and she attends to ALL household financial matters and leaves the rest, resting in the bank.

Or I'd rip through it in a week or so, being a Laowai and all, with expensive tastes :-)

There you go, 4 surprises in 1 day. How was your day ?

Jamieson.

I will put my right hand on my heart and try not to complain about living in China.
I promise to look at and blog about the positive aspects of living here.

1. Rental cost of living in a luxury, fully furnished apartment with 3 TVs, including a wide-screen TV in the loungeroom, with (my) satellite TV, 60 channels. 2 bedrooms, master for Mrs. Jamieson and I, One for Miss Jamieson. 4 Air cons. My own study. 2 bathrooms, one en-suite in the master bedroom.

Cost ?  $ 115 Australian dollars a week. About USD $ 92 a week. Try that in New York, you would be up for, how much ?

2. A bottle of REAL Chivas Regal. $12 US dollars, about $15 Australian.

3. Meadow-Lea Margarine, imported from Australia, cold-chain. Two bucks.

4. Multi-grain bread from a bakery : seventy cents.

5. DVDs. There is when we start laughing. 80 cents a piece.

6. ADSL to home. $16 Australian a month, unlimited data download. Hah !

7. Haircut, hair wash and beard trim. Ahhh $1.20

8. Yelling and swearing at some fuckwit who has 'parked' it's car diagonally cutting off the bike lane : PRICELESS. Nice to have some vocab vis ; "Quai Dian", "Quai", "Quai!" Sorry, 7 years of Military Service and YELLING orders on a Parade Ground is sometimes useful. Oh, yeah, the YELL can come back. It HAS, at times. BIG TIME.I am not kidding. I repeat, the YELL has sometimes come back. I try to keep humble, but sometimes....

However, in China it is best to keep the Military shout holstered :-) It usually IS. We strive for harmony. A Harmonious society is our new goal.

Get back to topic, Jamieson !

Things that are pleasing in China.

9. Smiles and happy banter from cashiers, Teasing. Yeah, in Chinese.

10. A Beautiful wife who often gives me expensive gifts and lots of cash.

11. Very pleasant, relaxed lady English language tutors at the Spider (workplace). Young ladies, recent graduates, innocent of the outside world. Pure, un-knowing. "I have been in Suzhou for 5 days". "I graduated last year..."

I envy their innocence, but I regret their knowledge of people who will even steal their washed bras on a clothes line and sell them. They sleep in the school dormitory. Things can only go UP for them.

Get back to topic, Jamieson !

12. The smiling ladies who offer soy milk for 1 kuai in the morning. They do not up the price for the foreigner.

13. The guy who repairs my e-bike, with minor problems, and re-inflates my bike tyres for the huge sum of 3.5 RMB. That is about maybe 50 cents.

14.SMILES.

15. I think I told you about that graceful young lady who hand-held me to the correct departure platform to get to Suzhou, get me to the right train back to Suzhou when I was a complete newbie, knew shit.

The kindness of strangers does count. That was a nightmare, first time in Shanghai assisted to the correct way by a complete stranger, from out of town, by the way.

I often rely on the kindness of strangers.

Help the Stranger. You will get the most unusual rewards.

GOD will surprise you. J.

STOP COMPLAINING !

See ?

Let's go positive. It is good to do good and let go. Do good and it will be multipied 7 times. Just be secretive about your actions.

You, dear reader probaly have the affluence and choices that most people in China do not enjoy. If you have the opportunity to donate, then please donate - but not to beggars on the street.

J.

Hi folks.  Getting a *little* humid around the 'Zhou lately. Of course,
with the humidity and the heat, we get some rip-roaring fuck-me-dead "unplug everything" world-class thunderstorms.

Randomly. 3,000 people die from lightning strikes in China each year (usually village folks sheltering under a tree, Uh, education is a precious gift)

Came back home from a teaching gig, found that some offender had plugged his/her bike re-charger into OUR power board. Quick phone call to Mrs. Jamieson to make sure it was not a friend who had availed him/herself to the power that WE pay for.... Nope. Right. Quickly disconnected. Sneaky shit !

Grumble. Opportunistic little.....Oh, I know, it is ridiculously low, maybe 0.2 mao an hour (maybe 1 cent ?), but it is the principle. I was indignant. Power Bill here is about 200 RMB a month, that is about ahhhh, $35 Australian Dollars.

Got the Air-con in the bedroom going flat-chat all night (otherwise you will pant like a large dog), Air-con in the study flat-chat, Computer, Mrs. Jamieson watching Korean DVDs on the wide-screen TV in the loungeroom, Junior Mrs. Jamieson watching TV in her bedroom.  Fridge going 24 hours a day.

I really do not mind, since the cost of electricity in China is so low.

In Western countries, it is customary and polite to request PERMISSION from a person who OWNS a device or service that may be used by other members of the Public. Permision would be almost automatic, maybe negotiate a token sum, maybe $1 a month to share the power board. Peppercorn stuff. At least leave a note apologising for the THEFT of electricity.

J. has spoken.